JOKES THREAD!

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8 years 11 months ago #526 by Gavfish
JOKES THREAD! was created by Gavfish
Let me start.........
I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> :rolleyes:

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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8 years 9 months ago #645 by davecarp1
Replied by davecarp1 on topic JOKES THREAD!
two irishmen coming home from the pub,paddy finds a mirror in the gutter,looks into it crys out,i know that man, shamus grabs the mirror looks into it, cause you do you idiot its me :oops: :oops:

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8 years 7 months ago #782 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Heres a shocker i heard other day <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> :rolleyes: <!-- s:!: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_exclaim.gif" alt=":!:" title="Exclamation" /><!-- s:!: -->
I just had to chuck my flat mate Calvin out,,,

he kept breaking the washing machine

Washing machines live longer with Cal gone

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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8 years 6 months ago #793 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Got beaten up in an alley way last night by 3 men, i knocked one out then realised it was not a good time to have a w*** :D <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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8 years 6 months ago #842 by davecarp1
Replied by davecarp1 on topic JOKES THREAD!
my my wife is that cross eyed, i'm sure she's seeing somebody else

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7 years 10 months ago #1248 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Just been text this after Liverpools poor performance again yesterday....

Roy Hodgson just spotted driving out of Anfield doing around 140mph the
wrong way up the street with a can of beer in one hand, a spliff in the
other and beeping his horn... He
will do anything to get three points. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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7 years 8 months ago #1403 by Medley
Replied by Medley on topic JOKES THREAD!
Got a new aftershave today, smells of bread cumbs, the birds love it!

Born to fish, Forced to work!!!!

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7 years 8 months ago #1432 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Santa says to his elf &quot; im getting really annoyed with this. Every year i put this stupid red outfit on, do all the work and end up with nothing at all.&quot;

The elf replies &quot;now you know how Cesc Fabregas feels.&quot;
<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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7 years 7 months ago #1832 by davecarp1
Replied by davecarp1 on topic JOKES THREAD!
news from the rac, don't travel without extra clothing,blanket ,flask, and a shovel, looked bxxxdy stupid on the bus

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7 years 7 months ago #1874 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
I went on Dragons Den the other night and showed them my Dads old shot gun.

Peter Jones said &quot;And whats your idea ? &quot; Its a simple concept Peter, just put the money in the f*****g bag !!!!!!!! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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