JOKES THREAD!

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7 years 11 months ago #1895 by Jonnyrotten
Replied by Jonnyrotten on topic JOKES THREAD!
<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> :rolleyes: <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> :rolleyes:
how bout this 1
i saw one of my mates the other day, he's only got one arm bless him.
i shouted &quot;where you off to?&quot;
&quot;to changes a light bulb &quot; he said
&quot;thats gunna be awkward init?&quot;
&quot;not really&quot; he said &quot;ive still got the receipt, d**khead!&quot;

<t></t>

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7 years 11 months ago #2006 by bencarp16
Replied by bencarp16 on topic JOKES THREAD!
Recieved this in a text today, some of you may also of had it but it made me laugh. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
My Grandad said to me &quot; its going to be a nightmare this Christmas with this flu outbreak.&quot;
&quot;Tell me something i dont know&quot; i said
Grandad replied &quot;your Grans a*** can take my whole fist!&quot;
Wrong but funny. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

<t>Earn money at work, spend it all on fishing!</t>

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7 years 11 months ago #2012 by Jonnyrotten
Replied by Jonnyrotten on topic JOKES THREAD!
<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->
hows these ones, first one classic :rolleyes:
whats brown and sticky?

A stick.
apparently Tesco are on a huge recruitment drive, employing almost 1,000 dwarves.

well...every little helps

<t></t>

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7 years 11 months ago #2026 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Had to edit your post Ben, no swearing on the forum please pal.

Bring on the jokes war then because it seems to be turning into one recently. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Q. Whats the strongest creature in the sea?

A. A Muscle :rolleyes:

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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7 years 11 months ago #2036 by bencarp16
Replied by bencarp16 on topic JOKES THREAD!
Sorry Gav:oops:
My wife just found out she was adopted. She was devastated and kept asking &quot;why didnt they want me?&quot; I took her in my arms and comforted her. After a while, still crying she kissed me and asked me to make love to her, which lead to more tears. On reflection banging her up the a*** and shouting &quot;WHOS YOUR DADDY&quot; halfway through was a lttle insensitive i guess! <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

<t>Earn money at work, spend it all on fishing!</t>

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7 years 10 months ago #2070 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Two men are out quietly fishing and drinking beer ,Jim says , i think im going to divorce my wife .she hasn't spoke to me in over 2 months . Earl continuous to sip his beer , then thoughtfully says you had better think about that Jim ,women like that are hard to find. <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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7 years 10 months ago #2096 by Jonnyrotten
Replied by Jonnyrotten on topic JOKES THREAD!
<!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: --> :rolleyes:
i beat my wife up this morning,
she got up at 7.30 i got up at 7.00 :mrgreen:

<t></t>

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7 years 10 months ago #2262 by bencarp16
Replied by bencarp16 on topic JOKES THREAD!
Got a new one. Text to me by a mate yesterday.
BBC NEWS: 2 pedestrians die in a collision, how fast must they have been walking? :rolleyes: <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

<t>Earn money at work, spend it all on fishing!</t>

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7 years 10 months ago #2273 by Jonnyrotten
Replied by Jonnyrotten on topic JOKES THREAD!
jokes getting worse and worse <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt=":lol:" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

i want for a nice meal the other day when the waiter asked how do i like your steak sir. the same way i like my sex i replyed. so rare then the waiter answered. :rolleyes:

<t></t>

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7 years 10 months ago #2474 by Gavfish
Replied by Gavfish on topic JOKES THREAD!
Whats the worse boil you can get on your penis?

Susan :rolleyes:

Checkbook and pen......again!!!!

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